Face the fear

Boss giving a meeting
Photo by Austin Distel on Unsplash

Confidence, they say it can get you anywhere, and honestly from what I’ve seen it really can. From a distance there seems to be so many different components to being confident; being completely sure of yourself, knowing what to do, being charismatic, the list goes on. So many parts seem involved, making just the act of being confident appear to be such a difficult task. It is therefore incredibly easy to just see confidence as something some people are born with and others are not. Just like most people I have often looked on in envy at these naturally confident people, everything seems to come so easy to them, there’s no way I could do what they do.

At least that’s what used to think

Photo by Valentin Salja on Unsplash

Taking a step back, I tried to look for the secret, I knew there must be something more to it, people aren’t just born that way, they get more confident overtime. But how exactly are they doing it?

The answer finally came to me after I had managed to get three separate interviews scheduled for placement years, I was filled with joy that I’d managed to get them, but at the same time I was absolutely terrified. Each day I was getting more and more nervous, I was filled with doubt that I could actually do the interviews, let alone have them go well.

So what did I do

I did what I thought you were supposed to do, I reached out for advice, I did my research about the job, I even did practice interviews with my friends. But nothing worked, I still felt so nervous, even after all the help I had gotten I still didn’t think they would go well. Then the day of the first interview came around and I just felt a feeling of failure before it had even begun.

But it went better than I thought, and so did the next, and so did the next. Don’t get me wrong I was still incredibly nervous each time, just slightly less so. And that’s when I realised, everyone’s nervous, even when you’re good at something you can still be nervous, you just have to practice. I realised I really was just in my own head the whole time, I was prepared for the interviews, my brain just didn’t want to believe it.

Photo by Keith Luke on Unsplash

So looking back is that all confidence is? Just practice? Well yes and no, practice certainly helped me feel more confident, but I think really it comes from within.

If I had let my nerves get the best of me I would never have been offered any of the placements, But I had the drive to go for it, and to me that’s what confidence really is. Pushing yourself and not giving up.

So really the best help you can get is jumping in at the deep end, you can probably already swim, you just don’t know it.

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